By Lauren Padilla
Fifteen years ago, Melissa Kurzmiller was working as a special education teacher in Anne Arundel Public Schools. She and her husband, Doug, were thinking about becoming foster parents. One of Melissa’s colleagues, a social worker, suggested they consider Kennedy Krieger’s Therapeutic Foster Care (TFC) program.
Back then, Melissa and Doug weren’t familiar with the differences between therapeutic foster care and standard foster care. But they soon learned that Kennedy Krieger’s TFC program supports children with medically complex, developmental, emotional and/or behavioral conditions.
“Because of [Melissa’s] background, specifically, therapeutic seemed like the right direction to go for us,” says Doug.
Today, Melissa and Doug are seasoned TFC foster care parents. Their family now includes seven children between the ages of 8 and 17: two adopted children and two foster children, as well as three biological children.
Taking Baby Steps
When Melissa and Doug completed the foster care licensing process, they were looking forward to the opportunity to support children in foster care and their families.
“We wanted to foster to reunification, when that is at all possible,” says Melissa.
Just a short while later, they received a call from the TFC program about a newborn who needed a placement. At the time, Melissa and Doug had two daughters at home: a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old.
The Kurzmillers didn’t expect they’d be caring for another infant so soon, but they said yes. They welcomed the baby, Miracle, into their family when she was 7 weeks old. The Kurzmillers’ son, Jeremiah, also joined the family when he was a baby, at just six months old.
“We did not think that either of them was going to need to be adopted because they had biological parent resources,” said Melissa. “Time ticked on, and it became clearer what they would need.”
Melissa and Doug moved forward with formalizing Miracle’s and Jeremiah’s adoptions. The process, for both children, was lengthy and complex. But nearly three years after the Kurzmillers welcomed Miracle into their home, her adoption was finalized. Jeremiah was officially adopted almost five years after he first joined the Kurzmillers.
Changing Directions
Several years later, Melissa and Doug chose to explore a new type of foster parenting. With Melissa’s experience in special education, the Kurzmillers had previously fostered children with emotional and behavioral conditions. However, they were also interested in supporting children with medically complex conditions. They chose to pivot in that new direction and spent several years serving as foster parents for children with high medical needs, also providing respite and short-term placements along the way.
At times, caring for children with such varied backgrounds and needs was challenging. Still, the training and resources the Kurzmillers received from Kennedy Krieger’s TFC program had a significant impact on their success.
“It makes a big difference because the needs are so great and so complex,” says Melissa. “You need to have good support.”
She also notes that the enthusiasm and engagement the current TFC staff members bring to the program has increased foster families’ morale.
“I’m just so thankful for the social workers and the level of support that is there,” Melissa says.
Continuing the Commitment
Melissa stresses that being a TFC foster parent requires commitment. That commitment, she says, should not be taken on without careful reflection and consideration. In particular, Melissa emphasizes the importance of candid conversations and research. “Know what you’re getting into,” she says.
Still, seeing so many kids grow and exceed expectations has been the ultimate reward for her. When she and Doug embarked on their TFC journey, she says, they couldn’t have imagined all the ways it would transform their lives and family.
“Family is whoever is living under our roof,” says Melissa. “Family is who’s here and just loving them as if they’re here permanently, even if they’re here for 48 hours, to the best of our ability.”
Get Involved With Kennedy Krieger’s Therapeutic Foster Care Program
Since 1986, Kennedy Krieger’s Therapeutic Foster Care program has been offering a continuum of services for children with medically complex, developmental, emotional and/or behavioral conditions who require temporary or permanent out-of-home placement. No matter how much time you have, you can make a big difference in their lives. Learn more about the TFC program at Kennedy Krieger and how you can help.
